That's Not My Name
by Kati Kate Monster
Summary: What happens when Sirius is with James and Remus gets Jealous? Does he really need to be all that jealous? rated for language, sex, jerking off, etc. SLASH if you don't like it, read it anyways.. you will end up liking it. S/J but in the end, R/S. UPDATED
1. That's Not My Name UPDATED V

Disclaimer: I own nothing

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. I'm just playing with the characters that Jo's already created.

**Warnings**: Slash, sex, jerking off, the usual. Nothing –too- graphic, I guess.

**A/N: **This is the updated version. It turned out a bit longer and I spent maybe an hour on it. I think it's better, anyways. It's different than the first story, so if you already read the first one, please read this one too, it's a lot different.

--

Sure enough, there it was. This has happened quite a lot recently. Maybe he's having nightmares. I would too if I belonged in his family, but this is getting out of hand. Having nightmares at least four times a week for the past three years is quite enough.

Each night is the same. I hear a groan, which wakes me up… I'm a pretty light sleeper, and then a few minutes later another one, followed by him muttering something. I can never hear what it is, even though I've been listening for it recently, trying to tell what he's saying.

After that, I hear him gasp, like he's woken up, and then a muffled sob. He then sounds like he's trying to keep it quiet, under control, but it's impossible. I then feign sleep and let him pad softly over to my bed, drawing the hangings back softly. "Moony?" he says. I see the tears in his eyes.

I slide over, smiling to myself. "It'll be all right, Siri. Just forget the dream. It'll go away soon." I whisper in his ear after he climbs into bed with me. He tries, and fails to suppress his sobbing as he wraps his arms around me, nuzzling his face into the side of my neck, right where my pulse was.

Seeing Siri like this has changed me I think. The first time he got into my bed I had been a little wary. Sirius? Crying? It couldn't be. I've since come to realize that even the strongest of us break down. I like this side of Sirius, vulnerable, not as cocky as his normal self. Even though I see Sirius like this only a couple times a week, I like it. Scratch that, I love it. I love seeing him when he doesn't think he's perfect. I know that's an awfully mean thing to say when he's sitting here; crying, but I can't help it. It makes me feel like if Siri has an imperfection, he might give me, the one with all the imperfections, a chance.

Of course I know that that's never going to happen. He's in love with James. Judging by the way James looks at him every day like it's their last day together. It makes me want to hit something. Hard. No one can love my Siri. Wait, since when is he mine? He never could love someone like me.

I heard Sirius' sobs turn into deep breaths as he fell into sleep. He shifted a bit, which moved his right hand over my crotch. I flushed a deep red, glad that Siri was asleep. Shit, how am I going to move it? He's going to wake up and I'm going to be hard, and he won't talk to me.

I tried moving my hips over, but that only resulted in his hand moving across my hard cock, almost as if he was rubbing it. I gave up in that, and picked up his hand and moved it onto my chest. I didn't' want to be caught in the morning by James, Siri's _boyfriend. _That would be extremely awkward. I soon fell asleep, ignoring the painful erection.

--

The next morning, I woke up, the covers at the foot of the bed, pulled down in my sleep, and Sirius was gone, like always. I had always suspected that he didn't want James to catch us in bed together. But just because it means something to me, doesn't mean that it means anything to him. I yawned, making the bed creak as I sat up.

"Shh, he's awake." I heard two voices, I recognized them as Sirius and James, and they were giggling, like they had just finished a snogging session. I wouldn't be too surprised if they did.

Moodily, I trudged out from behind the curtains and to the shower, not bothering to acknowledge James or Sirius, who were _obviously _busy doing their own thing. "Let them snog. See what I care." I mumbled to myself as I stripped my boxers and stepped into the shower.

"Oi, Moony, what didcha say?"

"Nothing, Siri. Just talking to myself."

"Oh, All right, Moons."

I felt myself slide down the tiled stall of the bathroom, the tears on my cheeks mingling with the stream of water coming from the showerhead. I let the cold water wash away the redness from my eyes, telling myself that I never had a chance with Sirius in the first place. What would make myself think that he feels anything towards me, the gay werewolf. A depressing thought, I know, but one shouldn't be thinking about their best friend like that anyways.

I left the shower and got dressed quickly, hoping that Sirius and Peter… oh, and James too, were waiting for me downstairs. I saw Peter sitting by the fireplace, which was void of fire at this time on a Saturday, along with James and Sirius, who were nearly sitting on top of one another on the burgundy couch.

I heard them whispering to each other. "Lets not stop snogging today."

"It's up to you, love."

I turned a beet red. It was going to be a fucking long day.

--

Thank God that Peter was out tonight. He was spending time with some bird he found today at the Hufflepuff table. I knew that Siri didn't bother with Silencing charms when it was just us in the dormitory. The two went to bed together, as I suspected, as I drew the hangings around my own bed.

The noises of Sirius' and James' sex soon filled the room. I couldn't help it. I pulled out my aching erection and began stroking it, running the other hand up my chest, pinching a nipple. I arched into my own touch, pretending it was Siri's skilled hands, jerking me off.

I heard James panting. I saw an image in my brain of Sirius, running his hands down my thighs and back up again, avoiding my cock just barely, teasing me before running a warm finger up my length, taking it into his mouth.

Sirius moaned. His mouth was full. Another picture flashed into my head. Sirius, his mouth around my cock, moaning, moved it in and out, swallowing around my erection. I bit my lip, drawing blood, trying to keep the moan from coming out.

I heard a slight popping noise. That must be Siri, getting his mouth off of my- no, James'- cock. I can't keep thinking it's mine. It's not healthy for our friendship. Oh well, another part of me thought, it's only for one night. What can it hurt?

I heard a deep guttural moan from James. Sirius must have entered him. I could hear the slapping of Siri's balls on James as he thrust deep into me… scratch that, I meant James.

I thrust into my hand as I continued to get myself off, my fingernails scraping along my nipples and across my chest. I could make out James, I could hear him coming, giving a deep, throaty groan.

"God, Sirius.."

He shouted Sirius' name and I could just feel my orgasm about to spill over as I heard Sirius come.

He moaned. "Oh, _Remus._"

My erection was abandoned as I dropped my jaw. Did he just say what I think he just said? Surely he couldn't have said my name. Could he?

"God, James, I didn't mean..."

There was another silence.

"James, are you going to yell?"

More silence.

"James, say something.. Yell at me a-all right?"

I heard Pads voice break. He was close to tears, if not all ready crying. I could tell.

"James, I-"

He was interrupted. "Fuck off."

I heard the bedsprings creak under James' weight leaving the bed and dragging across the dormitory to the showers. He wasn't saying a word.

And there it was. The muffled sob. Sirius whispered, "Moony?" I pulled back the bed hangings, still in shock. He glanced down at my crotch. 'Damn,' I thought. Oh well, what did it matter?

Sirius pulled me into a tight embrace, not bothering to hide his sobbing this time. "I-I never m-meant to…" He could barely make the words out in between his irregular breathing.

"Sirius," I muttered against his shoulder. "It will be all right." It feels like the millionth time I've said those words to him, but it's the only time I truly believe it myself.

"I love you."

There was silence, except for Sirius, trying to get something through his sobs.

"I love you too, Moony."

I pressed a kiss to his lips, surprised at my own courage to do so. "What took you so long?"

"As far as I knew, you were straight."

"Guess I'm not, now am I?"

"Point taken. You want help with that?" His hand brushed my throbbing erection.

"Please, love."

--

**A/N:** Yay! my baby's done! If anyone really has any new problems with it, let me know so I can fix it. xD

reviews/flames are appreciated.. strangely enough, I like flames.. they give me something to laugh at. But I like reviews even better! Cookies and love if you review!


	2. That's Not My Name old v

Disclaimer: I own nothing

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. I'm just playing with the characters that Jo's already created.

**Warnings**: Slash, sex, jerking off, the usual. Nothing –too- graphic, I guess

--

I heard a muffled sob coming from the bed next to mine. I knew who it was. I knew what was coming next. And sure enough, there he was. A perfectly tan hand pulling my curtains back, exposing Sirius, clad only with his boxers on, tears streaking down his face. I don't know why he comes to me, and not James, his fucking boyfriend. _I'm not bitter about this,_ I tell myself. _I just don't want to see him get hurt. _I slide over making room for him, cast a spell on the curtains, making all other noises of the night drown out, making it impossible for James to hear Sirius sobbing in my bed. He scoots closer, wrapping his arm around me.

_God, I wish he wouldn't do that, _I thought to myself as my cock twitched, hardening. He continued sobbing, completely unaware of my arousal, as usual. Needless to say, this wasn't the first time he's been in my bed, and not James'. Maybe he thinks I feel left out of his and James time together. Maybe he sees me glance away every time James gives him a little-more-than-friendly peck on the cheek, which, knowing Sirius, turns into a full blown snogging session rather quickly. I never stick around for that, though. I always make up some excuse to go upstairs, or go downstairs, or somewhere. Anywhere. Anywhere where they weren't.

Now, don't think I'm jealous of James, because I'm not. I've never liked Sirius as more than a brother.. Or have I? I Just don't know myself anymore. I hear Sirius' sobs turn into a heavy breathing, letting me know he was asleep. His arms are still wrapped around me. I wonder if he knows how close to my cock his arms actually are. I wonder if he would care. _He would_ I tell myself, secretly hating this conclusion, as I let sleep close over me.

--

It is never mentioned. It's never brought up why he was there, in my bed, arms dangerously close to my throbbing cock, because that's what he can do to me with a mere touch of his arms and an occasional brush of his foot on mine. He just goes right back to James, snogging him in plain sight of everyone, and then going off somewhere.

That day, Peter left for the Holiday season, leaving Sirius, James, and me alone. Sirius was obviously thinking that it was unnecessary to have a silencing charm on when the only other person in the dormitory is me, Remus, who he is completely clueless that I'm about to jerk off to the sounds of him and James having sex, thank God.

I could tell that James had just come in Sirius' hand, leaving me to picture Sirius pounding into me, just about to come with me underneath him, sweaty and sticky, screaming Sirius' name.. Did I say me? I meant James.

And there it was, the groan of Sirius coming. It always was the same groan every time he came, that deep, throaty moan that was easily mistaken for a growl. And then, something I wasn't expecting to come out of his mouth.

"Oh, _Remus."_

I froze instantly, letting go of my rock-hard cock, my mouth open.

"Sirius?"

"Shit, James, I didn't mean.."

"Fuck off."

I saw James leave for the showers, tears in his eyes. I pulled back the hangings further to see Sirius on James' bed across from mine, cleaning up their come, pulling his boxers on. "Sirius, did you mean that?"

"You were listening?" I nodded. He ran to me, pulling me into a tight grasp, sobbing harder than he had the night before. I didn't care that my erection was probably poking his thigh.. HE obviously didn't care. "I didn't mean to hurt him, Rem, I'm sorry."

He was still sobbing. "It's fine Siri, we know you didn't mean to hurt him." I pulled him away close enough to look him in the eyes. Without thinking, without taking the time to second-guess myself, I kissed him. It took awhile for the shock to register through Sirius' brain before he started kissing me back.

"I love you, Sirius."

"What took you so long?" He smiled at me. "I love you, too."

**A/N**: I wrote this in about half an hour for one of my friends, who told me to write a R/S fic. Please comment on it, even if you thought it was a complete piece of shit. You can tell me that! In fact, I'll give you a cookie for it! xD

oh, and there will be an updated.. and better version of this up very soon. I'll put it up as a second chapter, probably, and it should be up in the next couple weeks.

oh!(again), thanks so much for the reviews! I love you all so much!


End file.
